Blog post. 6/14/09


A spectre is haunting San Francisco – the spectre of Waveinism. None of the powers of old America have entered into any kind of alliance to exorcise this spectre; Pope or Czar, President or Mayor.
Where is the party in opposition to Waveinism? Where is the outcry?
Two things result from this fact:
I. Waveinism is already ensconced in the motoring fabric of San Francisco.
II. It is high time that Waveinists should publish their views their aims their tendencies and meet this nursery tale of the Spectre of Waveinism with a Manifesto of its self.
It’s origin I believe, came from the ancient misplaced Californian activity of waving the opposing driver through the intersection, ostensibly in an attempt to show how neighborly the waving driver is. This activity usually has no relevance to the simple rules of conduct as laid out in the licensing permit driving manual. In an attempt to cover lack of established traffic pattern knowledge the opposing driver would just ‘wing it’ and wave a motorist into some life threatening mishap. As a pedestrian, I’ve had numerous drivers attempt to wave me into oncoming traffic. I wave back, a polite, “Screw you dummy.”
Recently, within the last year, I’ve noticed a new slant on the wave. Now the drivers wave as they continue to motor through a stop sign, thus combining the Hollywood stop (non-stop) with the San Francisco (I don’t know whose turn it is) wave . Occupied with waving drivers abandon the break pedal and completely ignore the turn signal lever thus setting up a new exciting paradigm in surface travel.
So in the spirit of, gulp, fairness, a portion of the sales of the Waveists Manifesto should fund either through financial aid or grants, those of us who venture through the city on foot or on bike with course work in telepathy and mind reading. When a driver leans over his steering wheel and opens his cell phone as he ploughs through a stop sign, does that cell phone beam signal a warning or does this mean something else such as he’s spilled his latte while driving while talking on the phone? If I’m in the middle of an intersection, within the protective white lines of the crosswalk and a driver swings a turn through the stop sign scaring the Bejesus from me does she wave the hold-your-horses, wave to warn me away or is she trying to snake charm a potential target. God forbid the driver take the time to signal an intention to turn or to push down gently on that large horizontal pedal directly beneath the steering wheel.
I can pretend the waving salute is an intended restraint on horn blowing, and though delusional at times not even I really believe this true. But what is the truth? With so may questions about the nature, cause, and intent of drivers waving from behind the protection of crash bumpers, steel impact panels, and air bags, I request the explanation of Waveinists. I wait for your answer in the middle of an intersection, I’ll be the one standing in that provisionally sacred space, unarmed, confused, and terribly afraid for my life.